When the Gloden Globes are ashes, you have my permission to die. (I think I squee'd at such a pitch the neighborhood dogs are stampeding!)

Youtube makeup tutorials would be a good place to start.

So..it's a hitachi magic wand?

I want to give my younger self all sorts of advice, but one thing I do regret, that I wish i could go back in time to say, actually makes me feel ashamed because, ya know, #sorryfeminists would be "Go ahead and hit on older men, this particular fetish is not gonna go away."

I know! I almost responded back, but I think their response just drives home everything that is funny about said commentor on it's own.

Jason, is that you?

Winter clothes are so much more fashionable than summer clothes, and you can wear so many more of them, all at once!

I live in Louisiana and just spent an obscene amount of money online shopping for fall/winter clothes. It hasn't really dropped below the mid 80's here yet, but I'm a sucker for thigh high socks and wool leggings. I'm a growned up!

Ahem. Justin Bieber's beleaguered belly blasted bile before blithesome beliebers.

Lentils!

I would buy this and eat from this and feel no shame.

Whatever, Amy Poehler, why don't you teach me to feel better about the fact that you and Will Arnett KILLED MY BELIEF IN TRUE LOVE.

I like well water.

Whenever I claim to have a headache, my husband always tries to throw a little extra "vitamin D" my way too.

Alas, there are no spoiler alerts for real life. My condolences.

Oh, hi there internet. I know we're all in a bad place right now. Any words that even vaguely sound like "Will" and "Amy" have caused me to explode in snotty hysterical tears since I found out. Keep strong my friends, it may not take away the pain, but it certainly makes things more bearable. Kitteh resuscitation to…

I know a guy who found money in the trash at the end of the school year, tucked in a book. Actual money. IN THE TRASH. When I lived in a university dense area of the south we called it college christmas.

"He also wrote in his briefs," I bet he did.

Half broken speakers and a fan? Pfft, that's nothing. My roomates and I once found a 60" flat screen in the trash. Works like a charm.

His speech would have been better if he had brought along an empty chair.