I think I just must have the saddest eyelashes ever. Even when I try wiggling the brush or starting nearer the top, I get nothing. I also have to be careful about the mascara being too thick because it seems like my lashes are too wimpy to support it. They just look muddy. I had some success with the rubber brushes…

Hm, have they tried using pink writing in a cursive font? Women love that.

Or as Cher's dad from Clueless.

I think we've known since the first iPad was named, that Apple, at least, does not have much input from women. Now we even have both a mini and a maxi ipad to choose from.

Err....no. Just no. The market is awash in a ridiculous variety of phones (unless you're on Verizon), a great deal of which are rather small, never mind most iPhones. They're not 'designed for man hands', they're designed to sell, so if larger screens start selling better, they're going to make them larger, e.g. the…

Why is Biden in that airplane?

Sorry, next time I'll try and scale it back.

Hello, my name is Thulsa Doom and I will be your masseuse this evening.

rhino massage still best massage!

The pic isn't loading for me! What is it?! What's in the box? What's in the boooooox?!

i wouldnt feel bad for them too much, every hour they get a massage break where they get worms put on their backs to relax them.

I know, right? I've got too many of those to fit in one folder.

I am afraid to speak ill of that creature for fear it will find me and eat my skin.

Attention new mothers: Your baby looks like a flying monkey that bit into a particularly sour lemon. Get over it.

BROGRABS.

I like this, but I really don't like it.

But seriously fuck a slow walker. I hope this special hell place has A/C and wine.

While I don't turn up the volume to distract from discomfort, I DO get louder when it's enough already and I'd like to escort my husband to the finish line. It's like cheering extra loud as the running back makes a break for the end zone.

Well then maybe people shouldn't dawdle and take up the whole sidewalk then.

I've started calling it "freeze peach" when people misinterpret it like that.