"God told him to stay at the airport and don't do anything, just stay there."

Bud Adams: The Houston Oilers are moving...

There's only two things in Houston: Steers and queers.

Number of openly gay Oilers on 1/3/93? Zero

What's it going to take before we make concussions illegal?!?

Answer from a prosecutor? You don't become a prosecutor "to put the bad guys away." You become a prosecutor to do justice, and sometimes that is not filing charges or is trying a difficult case. You can't be a decent prosecutor unless you realize these are hard decisions, think you're at least as qualified as anyone…

Barry, while this is a nice reminiscence, an elegiac bit of memoir of what was and what could have been, I must take issue with one point. I think the presumption that Livingston would have continued to surprise and impress fails to account for the fact that other variables would have most certainly affected…

So anyway, I guess my point is that I would be happy to babysit your kids.

The only "logistical challenge" that this new stadium solves is moving the stadium closer to its white suburban fan base and away from the scary black folks who live around the stadium that the white suburban fan base complains about at every opportunity. Moving to that area only makes commute times worse and moves…

I hope the new stadium will be named Cobb Stadium. Not only is it a great baseball name, it would continue the Braves' tradition of playing in a stadium named after a raging asshole.

Cleeland was clubbed in the face by a sock filled with coins, coins that free-agent linebacker Andre Royal had spent all day collecting from teammates.

I really should have gone with "Actually, filming a Kennedy shooting wasn't that hard."

Pictured: Incognito done in teal.

Update: Manley later provided this written statement:

Lofthouse told police he was an avid hunter and his intention was to eat the duck.

That tag hasn't been used since John Wayne Gacy live-tweeted his basement remodel.

CDC: Coach, we're from the Center for Disease Control. We'd like to do a once-over on the locker room after the team leaves. Are y'all close to departure?

It's a cool trick and all, don't get me wrong, but for what it's worth Topps has been making stop-motion baseball cards since at least the 1950s: