But they don't understaaaaaaaand it like I do. They probably had an easier time in high school and can date anybody they want to and don't even really "get" it, you know?

Definitely isn't fake. I know the person who wrote this.

When she says, "Well, well

I am going to post this gif in every article. Please don't ban me.

I feel like this is the only dance move you could do to it

Oh cool, a cat has more comprehensive mental health care than me...

Ultimately, she's arguing with a preschooler- and he's winning. Ignore him or put him in a time out, for crap's sake!

This one really got me. I tear up every time I see it:

I'm a server and I think the standard is somewhere around 20% regardless of whether you have no messy toddlers with you or a twelve top of them. That being said, 20% is for great service. If I were your server and I gave you shitty service for whatever reason I would not expect you to reward me for doing a bad job.…

This is some woman's idea of the perfect wedding, though. Not mine by a long shot, but some people get married in Taco Bells or full cosplay. I just can't get mad about it. When it comes to weddings, everybody do you, have fun, mazel, etc.

I think his appeal is at least 50% voice.

That's actually how I became vegan. 4 blocks of cheese over 3 days = sudden onset lactose intolerance. It all kind of snow balled from there.

Ahhh, "females." My favorite dehumanizing term for women. Whenever I hear that in real life, I ask "Female what? Squid? Groundhog? Oak tree?"

If you reverse the list then that's actually the agenda for my entire day.

DOG: IS THIS WHERE WE LIVE NOW? OK I WILL JUST LAY ON TOP OF YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN IT IS TIME FOR WALK OR IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO GO GET BALL WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO GET BALL I WILL WAIT UNTIL YOU WANT ME TO GO GET BALL OH THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE OVER THERE LET ME SEE IF THEY HAVE BALL

I was searching for the perfect God-Vagina gif, but all I got was porn. I offer this as my humble apology:

*looks over at the nest of blankets, sheets, pillows, books and stuffed animals on her bed*

My gyn once said, while doing an exam: beautiful cervix! And I said, before I could stop myself: I bet you say that to all the women. True story. And we both laughed.

One time I fell while hiking in the woods. I wondered...did anyone hear me?