This is exactly what it's intended for. It untethers you from your phone without putting you at risk of missing important email/phone calls/texts. I have one of those jobs where you're expected to be "on" all the time, so I already ordered one in onyx a month ago, and I'll thank the Judgy Jezzies to STFU about what a…

YouTuba: A tuba that oompahs to drown out the noise of noxious commenters. Spoiler alert—dust of your dirndl because you'll always be hearing music.

Instaspork: A spork that takes pictures while you eat and automatically uploads them to your instagram so all your followers can get upclose and personal with your tonsils.

I would think that app would be for hobos.

All I ever wanted from coffee, is that it was hot, it was highly caffeinated, and some splenda. It could be from moon, served in a sterilised bedpan for all I care -just as long as its the temp of molten lava, and will make me feel like Im about to have a anxiety attack.

Holden Caulfield

Quentin Coldwater, Lev Grossman's "The Magicians" trilogy. Seriously, he's one of the worst fictional characters ever.

Obnoxious? Certainly. Psychotic? Definitely.

I still occasionally think of this twitter exchange and laugh:

I finished the course pretty quickly, but I swear to God that never happens.

Those look like some pretty hard runs.

Got my daughter an age appropriate sex ed book when she was 7. Got her the 10 year olds version for her 9th birthday. She knows her stuff and educates her friends too.

Technically, he's correct. They might have Ebola. They also might be reverse vampires. Better safe than sorry!

travel can be very disorienting. Time

I died. Won't do that again.

Opinion: Baby North is the cutest famous baby since Suri Cruise.

As if Welcome to Night Vale wasn't sexy enough all on its own.

its an unique thing to baristas - some asshole coming in with a drink that no sane person would order and acts like its your fault that you've never heard of it.

if i had been the manager at this coffee place, i probably would have risked my job to tell this woman NO! i have no problem with making the actual drink with the ingredients she wants, but the sprinkling of the sweet and lows, no way. i would have kindly handed them to here and told her that was her job. really, i…

OH MY GOD. Though I love this column because I love crazy people.