I feel this so hard. After more than a year of not dating, I met someone and it seemed like it had some potential, so I let the walls down a bit, let my hopes get up, then: he ghosted.

Hot take from me: ghosting is incredibly rude. If someone isn’t making you fear for your health or safety, don’t ghost them. Ghosting is for stalkers and creepers, not for people who are fine human beings and who you are just embarrassed that you don’t want to date.

Hey, I know this isn’t my business, but you seem like you’re having a really hard time, and it sucks to live that way.

Firstly, thank you so much for writing and sharing this, and “When Can I Say I’ll Be Alone Forever?” I don’t think I’ve personally identified more with any other posts on this entire site than these.

Ghosting is so cruel and awful, I just can’t understand how anyone can do it. Especially given there are such easy ways of backing away from someone these days if you don’t want to keep seeing them - a text that simply says ‘sorry I’m just not feeling it, it was nice meeting you though’ or whatever would be so much…

I met my main squeeze when I was 36. But even if you don’t find a life partner, that’s okay. You are amazing, and you are enough.

This time of year is super tough. I hate it.

SAME PAGE. I also feel like the older I get, the more connected and awesome the guy would have to be, because he’s going to have to shake loose of a hell of a lot of societal preconceptions if we’re going to do this thing. If we’d met when I was 25 I might be a lot more susceptible to the trends running through my…

Hugs. I am having a hard first day of 2018 too. I hope tomorrow is better for both of us.

I hope 2018 is kinder to you.

The biggest gift my family ever gave me was that fully 50% of each generation don’t get married and become kickass uncles and aunts, for something like four generations now. So I was raised in an environment where being an old single was never “the wrong path” or some sort of lingering doom.

Standards and processes have completely reversed. It’s so much easier to find people and get dates now than it was back then. But I think that simplicity has made real connections more difficult, because there’s much less incentive to invest time and emotion in a potential relationship when you’ve got 50 other matches…

My post didn’t post, so again I’ll try. Or maybe I should let the ether swallow up my angsty comment? I feel very, very lonely right now and I really should give insta a time out because of everybody toasting and drinking and kissing and looking all pretty and giving new year greetings. It’s making me feel worse about…

You have so hit the nail on the head.

Same age group, and I agree; analog dating was so much easier. Texting and social networking create a drug-like effect. The highs are higher, and the lows are lower. My 20-something niece and nephew are struggling, and I hate to see it.

This is good.

Thank you for writing this and the When Can I say I’ll be Alone Forever article! People are continually sold the lie that if they just try A,B,C then everything will fall into place and they’ll meet someone. The reality is too scary. It’s hard, love is fucking mean. And really great people sometimes never partner up,…

When the first guy I dated after years of being alone (because of weird emotionally abusive almost relationship fucked me up) ghosted me, I was shocked by how devastated I was. It had only been 3 dates. It wasn’t like I was in love. You perfectly described that feeling. It was shocking and abrasive. I’ve had trouble…

While my marriage was clearly ending, I took a dance class to get out of the house. One of my class mates was an acquaintance who was there with her husband. I was a smidge jealous (like light envy) of them and their date night, until the next time I ran into her at the pub. Turns out they were trying to reconnect now…

I appreciate your vulnerability in writing all this.