@Armen Tamzarian: I'm not Canadian. I don't give pity credit for that.

@David Hume: What's the general age range of the league? If it's just out of college 20 somethings, then the 10pm thing isn't terrible. For those who have vivid memories of the early 80s, it could be trouble.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: If it's 0-16 you want, Chan Gailey's your man! In fact, I think that might have been a direct quote from his interview.

@Armen Tamzarian: Fantastic. Cinemax is showing Charlie's Angels. Weren't Charlie's Angels supposed to be hot?? In my day they were hot! Drew Fucking Barrymore? Are you fucking shitting me, Bosley????

@MarkKelsosMigraine: You don't think they keep Fitzpatrick and look elsewhere in the draft? Plenty of good needs still available.

@PolkPanther: Excellent. +1.

@Armen Tamzarian: No kidding. It makes me ashamed to be polytheistic.

"I want him to sprain an ankle, early, in warmups would be great. I want him to play, but if we can just slow him down a little bit, that would be ideal."

Even though nobody has asked me, I think Body Shots is Tara Reid's best work.

@Always Winning: Isn't "Master Matter Manipulator" what Jim McGreevey used to make Golan Cipel call him?

@Donté Stallworth Driving School: Steve Jobs Admits It's All Jony Ive

@Donté Stallworth Driving School: Mike Alstott Admits He Wants One More Drive

And, of course, Edwards's attorney and the Manhattan DA have made sure that workplace discipline can't occur until the workplace shutters for the year. So much for that Sixth Amendment.

Jersey Joe Walcott Admits He Was Actually Forty-Five

"Play the chunk-and-run"

The advanced hygiene routine Chiefs coach Todd Haley put in place before the game consists of a fountain syringe, a vaginal nozzle and some diluted vinegar. Todd Haley does not have time to deal with your yeast infections, bitch.

@Tom Gugliotta's Delicious Frittatas: Todd Haley wears visors so God can watch him think. And marvel.

@AirBratz23: Todd Haley thought about taking Tucker Max under his wing, but didn't think the little wuss could handle that much awesomeness, bro.

@SavetoFavorites: Todd Haley wrote The Most Dangerous Game. It was a stream of consciousness piece he blurted out in his sleep.

@SavetoFavorites: Todd Haley has Ted Nugent shadow him on dates playing Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, 'cause every hero needs his own theme music, broseph.