Congratulations; you just ghostwrote the next book in James Patterson’s Women’s Murder Club series, The 18th Precintct.

Forget it, Jake.  It’s Texas.

It’s Larry Kudlow. Full stop.

Following the thread a little deeper:

I had hoped I wasn’t the first person who immediately went right to singing that track in my head. By far the best G.O.O.D. Fridays release.

Then your business model is bad and you shouldn’t pursue it.  Full stop.

I mean, if those windows and cars belong to fascists, then it stands to reckon...

But you forget that they adhere strictly the code of biblical relations, as expressed in Gingrich 4:12-18

Racist+homophobic+xenophobic polices > Practicing Christian values.

Lazy concern trolling.  You deserve a Golden iPod Award.

Not likely; no tomato reference.  It’s a reference from 4Chan’s /b/ board; basically an in-joke about suicide.

Another day that ends in “y”, another mass shooting.  This is America.

I actually have a business plan for the inevitable pivot to electric, once YouTube is proliferated with brodozers getting dusted by electric trucks at the drag strip and in sled pulls.

This entire situation is, tragically, the logical conclusion to the intersectionality of America’s centuries-long infatuation with violent hegemony and Hollywood’s inherent fetishization and stylization of gun violence (especially over the last 40 years).

Everything this dipshit says and does is like nails on the chalkboard of my soul; but his falsetto “Business Anecdote Baby Voice” makes me want to punch through all the drywall the most.

Obligatory:

I might actually die from schadenfreude if this was their bumper for the next 48 hours:

My guess was some sort of cream-based squash or mango purée. And with the weird flip at the front, I had held out hope for a brief, glorious second that the Trump National staff was mocking Dolt .45 with intricate food disses.