I find her face painful to look at. I don't mean because I think she is ugly (though my general dislike of her does make me see her as very unattractive). I mean that her facial expressions actually look painful — like things are getting pulled and stretched in a physically painful way.

Just on the Asian-eyes point: I remember that there was a period of my life where I didn't see anyone do the whole pulling-back-the-eyes thing, and I started to think that maybe people had finally learned that it was offensive and really, really not funny. But it's apparently very common at my daughter's school…

I would give you 20 more stars if I could.

I'm Asian, and most of my friends are not. I am not an exception in that way.

Your description of Justin Bieber as "an adult baby" is perfect. And it suddenly seems very important to post this picture again (which I can only interpret as Justin Bieber being placed into his car seat).

I wish I could leave exactly the same image for your post. Because that's just excellent.

I love this comment so much. SO MUCH. It is awesome and hilarious and brilliant, and is maybe the only bearable thing about this horribly sad and infuriating story.

I should have been more clear — I teared up in a happy way, because of the very kind things you said. And that gif is awesome.

Thank you. It's been a few years now since we lost that cat (she was crazy and weird and sweet, and my daughter still misses her), but your response made me tear up a little.

I wanted to echo what you said about oral problems in cats being an overlooked issue — something that even good vets can misdiagnose. We had a rescue cat that was of a breed that is apparently prone to stomatitis (something we didn't learn till it was too late). She had terrible, terrible breath and was clearly in…

The "get off my lawn" makes your perfect post even more perfect.

I had the exact same reaction to the "I was only playing with it" line. It was so sad, and this point seemed so important to him — as if, even beyond the horror of what happened to him (and the betrayals by his family), the injustice of being misunderstood on this point was still eating at him. It's like there's a…

Me too! And then I didn't want to tell anyone, for fear of getting an "oh, so you think everyone with an accent sounds like?" response.

Not the same thing, but this reminds me of when a taxi driver pointed to a pedi-cab and said to me, "They have a lot of those in your country, right?"

They way she knew, right away, who it was — and the utter dog happiness — and the way she stood between his legs, so that he could protect her . . . . It's all too much. There is nothing better than dog happiness.

I feel a vague sense of sympathy for her too. But then you see her calling herself a MILF, apparently without irony, and it seems like she actually feels pretty good about how she looks.

I agree with all of this. And your last line is pure, hilarious poetry.

I was wondering this too. I guess I could imagine being so deeply in denial that you convince yourself that all the victims are lying just to win money in civil lawsuits. I mean, it would be stupid and delusional and offensive, but I guess I could at least imagine that level of denial. But how does she explain away…

The expression on this dog's face is amazing.

I agree with all of this. And you know how sometimes people say things like, "I want to give this puppy all the hugs"? I want Lupita Nyong'o to win ALL THE AWARDS. I don't mean that figuratively. I want her, literally, to win every possible award (at least all the good ones) — not just because she is apparently…