Garner: No. Stop. It doesn’t even sound cool. 

In honor of their first new music in like 45 years, here’s a creepy Tool video. Album seems kinda good!

Does it make some kind of sense on paper? Sure. But I have a really hard time giving Pelinka and Dwight the benefit of the doubt. They’ve shown their asses time and time again. At some point, it’s best to assume they’ll continue doing so. 

I’m sorry, but I’m pushing back on any idea that Pelinka is “shrewd.” If anything, this is just further evidence he has no idea what he’s doing. The stories of Dwight being a miserable teammate are innumerable. Just one that was memorable, from Zach Lowe in 2017:

Dwight: I swear I’m not crippled and I’m super depressed about my career.

I’m not sure if the amount & content of ads on this post are some sort of meta commentary, but no, I am not interested in “the shrub of the year.”

Seems too dry, honestly. 

Let’s remember some other centers AD forced a trade to play with:

On the other hand, I was far more bored going to Padres games as a kid than I am now being drunk at A’s games. 

“he choked his cheerleader girlfriend Maddy so badly that she had his handprints bruised onto her neck and only managed to sneak his way out of trouble by framing a perfectly innocent man for rape and demanding he confess to the abuse while planting a witness who he was blackmailing.”

Why does this show “TERRIBLE Judgement” exactly? In a league rife with domestic violence and PEDs and, you know, real fucking murderers, dating a porn star is borderline adorable. Nobody outside an evangelical bake sale gave that pornstar thing more than a cursory chuckle. 

If corner kicks are meningitis, shootouts are AIDS. Everyone understands this. 

A casino carpet fashioned into a onesie?

He just helped speed it up a little, so it’s all good?

We should have no problem mocking ethically repugnant people’s appearance!

I’m sympathetic to your argument but “I saw some stuff on Twitter” isn’t all that compelling.

Real men write blogs about which Instagram models are hot enough to masturbate to and how underrated Machine Gun Kelly is.

VERY convincing

C’mon Lauren. Everyone knows you need a bachelor’s degree to rep a player who’s thinking about leaving early and foregoing his bachelor’s degree. It just makes sense.

Conservative fuckboys: they’re just like us!