Enjoy Galaxy Brain Monte Ellis, Knicks fans! 

Kanter looked like he was going to die or start weeping or start weeping while he died. It’s sort of amazing he’s gone from a defense-free punchline to a fucking unkillable gritlord in the span of two months. 

Well below elbowing a dude in the dick and balls, my guy. 

Kawhi just doesn’t do it for me. He’s obviously a tremendous player, but I don’t really feel anything when I’m watching him. I’ll admit I generally gravitate towards guys with a lot more flash or quirkiness to their game, so it’s mostly a personal thing here. I do enjoy it when occasionally he just ends someone on…

Have you never watched him play? He’s got all the bogus Australian basketball tricks: little elbows to the neck, arm-yanking, the whole bag. Plus, I mean, he literally elbowed a dude in the dick yesterday.

Does anyone actually enjoy watching the Raptors? Siakim’s pretty fun when he’s cooking, but everything else is just sorta drab and uninspiring. Philly inspires mostly hate and annoyance (Jimmy Butler’s corny, Simmons is a fucking goon) but at least I have feelings when I watch them. Toronto’s just sorta...there. 

This is incomprehensible to me, but I’m not gonna kink-shame you. Let’s share our favorite Chris Paul memories! I’ll start:

Chris Paul? I usually blame Chris Paul. 

I’v been commenting on this site for an embarrassingly long time and am always sad to see a long-timer go. And though Marchman’s music taste is fairly copacetic with mine, this piece of utter trash is for you Tim. You’re the finest kind. 

At least we’re finally getting an answer to “what would it look like if an entire organization was the old lady who complained to the HOA about your lawn?”

Anybody that references one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen gets a star. Sorry, those are the rules.

The greatest trick the Rockets ever pulled is making half the league Warriors fans for two weeks. 

How did 30 teams pass on a guy who was selected 15th? 

show some fucking respect man

Fair enough. I’ve been indulging in Westbrook schadenfreude for the better part of two days. I’d be a hypocrite to deny you similar pleasures.  

I meant to say “it isn’t,” which would’ve made the comment make sense. Don’t comment on the bus, gang. 

The thing about him “choking in the clutch” is that, well, it’s really true:

Gonna go with the cat thing. Feels right. 

There is some supremely weird shit going on with Jokic’s mouth here and I am equal parts confused and uneasy. 

Your analysis is doodoo. You’re analyzing the scenario for a generic player, not the guy who actually took the shot. You know, the guy who was 66% on shots over 30 feet this series. The guy who had 47 and 9 threes up to that point.