Wow, Dolcett. I so associate his stuff with the early days of the internet. Back when I was just learning to mine the very depths of sexual perversion online.

He'd need to bulk up a bit but I think Adam Driver would make a good horny Bigfoot.

I would like to turn my penis into a video game character and use this on Omegle.

I think the moose may have killed them at the end there.

Remember how they came with those awesomely creepy collector's cards?

Good point. You got to watch Rooney. He will sneak up and snatch your head.

I am pretty sure Abe is the Highlander.

Can you guarantee the winner mad stacks of cash as shown in the picture or will there be methamphetamine cooking as well?

Awww shucks! Thank you.

Hello, my name is Thulsa Doom and I will be your masseuse this evening.

Panty dust is magical.

Hiddleston always wins these things because his signature move is that quick little spin and meteorologists have confirmed it releases a panty dropping tornado.

Yay, we are such heroes for making life marginally better than the slave mines. Capitalism be praised!

Pro-Tip: If you cover yourself in mud it can't see you.

Testing

The real danger with this is forgetting about your actual surroundings and fapping in front of an open window...and possibly falling through the window naked.

This may be my favorite comment ever.

I personally think they were trying to go for a pedobear thing. I feel like that was embedded in the iconography.

I feel all fired up and sexy inside, like this.

Ledger also had the luxury of never having to appear recognizably as Heath Ledger. He was always in his Joker persona and Affleck will not be able to do this. He will have the dual problems of trying to convince us he is Bruce Wayne while looking and sounding and acting pretty much exactly like Ben Affleck and then…