being as careful as possible to avoid getting polish on your skin.

because when the flight attendants suggested she sit down, she flipped the fuck out

I didn’t rewatch, but I think what she says is “go COMMMONDO”

It was a huge plane—international flight—so the area in the back by the bathrooms is huge, they would have for sures let her sit in a jumpseat with him at the very least.

“Is your asshole clean enough to walk around without panties?” I mean, FFS.

Hey, that doesn’t look like—Oops, no, never mind. False alarm!

Secondly, if your response is “Well, it’s not like I called them the N word” it is absolutely 100% a word that’s in your regular vocabulary.

The Devil Made Me Do It™ has been out of rotation for awhile now. Get with the times, Nancy!

I can’t even remember the last time I was on a flight that wasn’t oversold. Lucky you!

Being puked on on a plane is basically my worst nightmare. One time I was on a flight where a lady kept walking her projectile-vomiting toddler up and down the aisle while she held him and he puked on at least 5 people over the course of the flight (not me). Like, I understand that it was a shitty situation for her…

On the one hand, it’s not the responsibility of the people mentioned here to solve America’s racial crises. On the other, acting like it’s a lifestyle choice seems exceedingly harmful.

THANKS, OBAMA!

My stylist does my highlights every 4 months or so, but I dye my own hair. In fact, she sells the dye to me at cost for me to do it myself because “it’s so easy, I’d hate for you to pay me that much money to do it.”

I've never had it and I am so sad for that fact. I bet it's delicious.

I'll be here all week, ladies and germs.

I mean, there's only 24 hours in a day and dude was sleeping for at least some of those... Lol. Sad.

What a coincidence, because I was thinking about Idris Elba when I broke my own speed record.

“I do school” and “I go to school” aren’t really the same thing. My sister was allowed to “do school” aka some bullshit online high school, and she’s graduated, sure, but that was a year ago and she doesn’t have any kind of job or school plans whatsoever.