Never forget.

I think it’s confetti

All set to make my “Moi?!” joke and damned if Miss Piggy didn’t beat me to it. Is there nothing about her that isn’t awesome?!

I’m all for salacious gossip, but this seems pretty baseless. Anyone close enough to know this shit about them would’ve had to sign an NDA for sure.

Yes. I had a “colorful” and “character-building” childhood.

LEAVE MARIAH ALONE, YOU ASSHOLES

I bet they all work in marketing and love juice cleanses.

That just about covers it.

Not to be all “get off my lawn!” but I have a huge pet peeve about people blocking my ability to walk or look at whatever scenery/tourist attraction because they won’t get the fuck out of the way with their selfies (stick or otherwise).

The first time I was aware of a grown man looking at my body was the summer between 5th and 6th grade when we were at the lake with some other families. My stepdad also noticed this grown man, his friend, checking me out and shoved him onto the ground and basically looked like he wanted to murder him. During my…

I’m like WTF, mate?

“Uh... the fuck did you just say?”

Probably didn’t offer her enough money.

Thoughts like that always came much too late. Still do, I suppose.

As a former vegetarian, I always found the “Asian vegetarian” meal option to be far more palatable than regular vegetarian. It was usually Indian and at least somewhat spicy—a far cry better than whatever globby, bland pasta they’re serving for the regular veg meal. Do be prepared to get looks from the flight…

A few years ago, I gave up on ever trying to wear heels again. I can do a low wedge, but other than that it’s too uncomfortable so fuck it. If my feet hurt, I’m not happy.

A mean girl in middle school told me she wished she looked like me so she wouldn’t have to worry about choosing between the two boys that were fighting over her. “You’re just so lucky to not have to deal with things like this!”

One time I ordered a breakfast sandwich at Jack in the Box and they just piled a bunch of tomatoes on the bread instead of the egg, bacon, and cheese. Saddest sandwich ever.

That escalated quickly.