Out of curiosity... why is ‘87 the best year? I would expect the ‘88 S to be #1 with the ‘89 being the second most desirable...

Well yeah like I said, the mileage is what this car has going for it. But higher mileage on a well sorted and maintained car is more important than low mileage on a neglected car, IMO.

“After giving him my standard sob story about how I’ll give the car the love it so desperately craves and that I’m sort of a big deal on the internet,”

I fucking hate you.

If you paid a dime more than $3500 for this thing you got jacked.

Garage kept for 25 years, only driven for a total of 45 months with 47k miles? Red flag.

Small piece of advise, don’t turn on the car again until you change the timing belt.