She was a bit before my time, so I don’t really know her work.

Fair enough.

If you don’t laugh at Billy Madison, you’re dead inside.

All the women I named are funny. But yeah, Chappelle is a pretty glaring omission.

Let’s not get carried away. She barely scrapes into the top 10 funniest women of all time. Roseanne, Joan Rivers, and Kristen Wiig go clear 1-2-3 in my book. Then you can argue about order for Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Gilda Radner, Lucy, Garafolo, Cho, Silverman, and McCarthy.

I’ll take the Raiders now over the Jags in 5 years. It would be weird rooting for a San Diego team that actually has a chance to win something.

I disagree with inboards always being superior to outboards. I have boats of both types, and generally speaking, I find outboards to be more reliable, easier to work on, quieter, and more efficient except at cruising speed. Also, it’s nice to have everything self-contained hanging off the back. On anything under about…

He’s rich! People shouldn’t be giving him free Cars.

‘he hasn’t made much visible progress toward finding new football-based employment.’

Totally did this once with a rental circa 2003. Either a Kia or Hyundai, can’t recall which. The gear selector just wouldn’t slide back into reverse, and it made some horrifying noises when I tried to force it. This was an important experiment undertaken for science.

I did a couple hours in my Blazer on a pretty awful washed-out dirt track going up the East Cape of Baja. It was after some heavy rain, so there were a bunch of spots where the road was washed away, which wasn’t great seeing how much of the road is on cliff-faces over the Sea of Cortez. It was all 4wd 10 mph type…

An Italian guy goes to see an Asian ophthalmologist. The doctor looks him over and says ‘You have a very big cataract.’ And the guy goes ‘But Doc, I drive a Lincoln!’

With Bieber you’re definitely catching a toss-off. With Rihanna you’re going to bed alone, because Rihanna would get mad if you were spitting game at bitches while you were hanging with her, and no lady would dare speak to the dude Riri brought to the party. So Bieber. Definitely Bieber.

Because the PT is awful and the e46 is great.

So I’m a serious car nerd. I can outline the Chicken Tax for you in detail, give you a tight 30 minutes on how and why BMW isn’t as good as it used to be, or rattle off my top-10 all time car designers. And I thought the PT Cruiser had been out of production for 6 or 7 years already.

Because women say stuff like ‘you totally shouldn’t fly down to Miami tonight and get shitfaced with Justin Bieber then go out on a boat.’ And dudes say stuff like ‘We should totally fly down to Miami tonight and get shitfaced with Justin Bieber then go out on a boat.’

Have you ever fought someone on blow? It’s like fighting the terminator. You can hit ‘em with a pipe and they’ll just keep coming at you.

A penguin is driving down the road when his car starts making a weird noise, so he pulls into a mechanic shop. The mechanic, a walrus, says ‘give me 20 minutes, and I’ll be able to see what’s wrong and give you an estimate.’ So the penguin walks down the street to an ice cream shop, sits down and enjoys a vanilla…

“HELD DOWN IN ART CLASS, CLASSMATE SHOVED SEQUINS DOWN THROAT”

Is it weird that I can’t remember the last time I received an xmas gift that wasn’t a bottle of booze?