From Wikipedia:

Just an old Ozarkian that don't always know no better.

You know, I should have read that a little bit better before I hit Publish.

Don’t forget to whack off near the ground, the spent blackberry canes. Once they are done, they're done. Gives next years a bit of breathing room.

I used to work for a photographer that came back from a state photographers convenient with a full size cutout lady in a bikini, from the Kodak booth. He had more fun with that, scaring the female employees, by putting it in a dark hallway, where the first one in every morning had to turn on the lights.

For less than $10, why not?

For less than $10, why not?

Also, why do some sleep like this. Quite often in the middle of the floor.

One of our cats does something I still have not figured out. She was my Dads cat. We inherited her with the house. She will sometimes (used to do it more often) go into the bedroom and start doing a strange meowing. If you look in, she is just standing on the bed, looking at you. So, once I slowly held my cell phone…

Our elderly min-pin loves sun dried worm jerky! But our three Chihuahua’s now, they are poopcicke lovers. Their moto is Never Leave A Pile Untasted. The momma Chihuahua is a bug hunter. Unless she is doing her business, or eating someone else's business, she has her nose in the grass searching for whatever insect is…

Do you know why the blonde got her foot stuck in the steering wheel? She was trying to dim the lights.

We came home one night, and opened the front door. Somehow, a big wolf spider had gotten between the doors, and was now heading into the house. I grabbed a little decorative broom that my wife had placed by the door, to shoo it back outside. When I brushed the spider, there were suddenly dozens of baby spiders running…

We came home one night, and opened the front door. Somehow, a big wolf spider had gotten between the doors, and was…

“Do not put oil or graphite directly into the lock.”

Instead of tying the string to the cable, try a bit of masking tape. Should hold fine, and not as bulky as a knot.

Having never seen a photo of her little sister (I didn’t even know that she had one), that photo looks more like that woman would be Carrie Underwood’s little sister. If she has one.

Lots of fleas, also. They had several dogs and cats. You can kinda see one under the back end of the bus.

That ain’t no Hippie bus. Here is a REAL Hippy bus.

Well, that list leaves me out. Not a one that I remotely care to watch. Paid or not 

One of these.

Better yet, just turn off the faucet, and release the pressure from the nozzle end. Why drain the hose? Then you have to waste the water already in the hose, and filling it up again. I guess, if you’re going to carry it into the garage, yeah, I can see draining it. If that is the case, you should have a wheeled hose…

I’m kinda late to this list, but try PB, banana and mayonnaise ( or Miracle Whip). Used to eat these all the time when I was a kid.