I feel your “pain”, my friend. One ex used to introduce me as her 39-year-old boyfriend who’s turning 19 next month *humblebrag* 

If it flies, floats or f*cks, rent.

Nah. Snip it. Much safer, much better. It even increases your libido.

Ab imo pectore bravo. I laughed loud and long

Nope. The chicken tax killed the VW bus as a volume vehicle decades ago, and a real VW Bus business proposition would need a second, dedicated line at Chattanooga, which ain’t gonna happen.