Obviously, you are unfamiliar with the sport of Egyptian Water Tanker Wrestling.

Don't forget. Last year, last game of the season. Marlins were also involved in a no-hitter. Getting a no-no in the most Marlins way possible.

Missing: Two Balls.

First prize is 3 month's rent at the Oakwood.

Reminds me of this goal I saw on ESPN a few weeks ago.

Clayton Kershaw is the Derek Jeter of the National League!

The Russian cops really earned their $80 that week.

Obama to give out this type of car to all undocumented sex offenders.

Jameis Winston Countdown Clock:

Would love to see him to a "one off" Bond movie.

And they found the worst possible trailer announcer of all time. All time.

Nevermind the fact that we can now get live HD video feeds from active war zones.

Sorry, teachers. You'll have to buy your own school supplies again. We can't seem to find the money again this year.

On encountering any unknown item...

NFL Headquarters has officially gone into lockdown.

Where's the room for dip?! This is bullshit.

Dutch Harbor, Alaska Police Blotter. NPR did a story about it about two years ago. It is the Florida of the Great White North.

Don't blame the NFL employees. They were too busy creating tweets like this.

By 2016, every Caddy will have its own "Buffet to Buffet" self-driving technology.

Maybach Landaulet