When you are getting less percentage of the black vote than David Duke, you should seriously rethink your campaign strategy.

Obama should declare the southern US border a National Monument on his last day in office.

Those bats and balls will appreciate 1000% the day President Tebow takes office in January 2024.

“You’re on fire, bro.”

I want to live long enough to piss on Peter Theil’s tombstone.

Anne Hathaway as Sandra Bullock’s girl? That’s a 200 million opening weekend right there.

This is the “10 minutes into the podcast and Joe Rogan is still reading ad copy” face.

Guess no one saw any red flags.

You try to rob me of money, I rob you of life!

Whatever its called, it will be replaced by JACK FM in three months.

Hell, let’s just make the Olympics look like a garden party at Peter Theil’s house.

The dealership would be liable for any traffic violations if the owner reports it to the police. After the conviction on the violations, the owner can then sue the dealership.

If the city of Boston ever took human form...

My guess is that he is developing a Butterfinger bar minus the chocolate outer coating.

At this rate, the Astros attendance should be pushing towards the 5 digits come September.

Can’t wait to hear Alex Jones’ conspiracy take on Pokeman Go.

There’s always option B.

Brady was at the Kentucky Derby.

At least he’ll have the most fabulous death suit ever.

Fatty Arbuckle Rape Trial