I had to TEACH the dude I almost married how to tip because he thought it was "unfair and unchristian" to give a "bonus" to a waiter/waitress just for doing their job. The first time we went out I lost my shit on him when he told me he never tipped because "it's built into their pay, right?"

There are great Christians but there is also a "type" of Christian that Craig is talking about and even as a Christian I know and loathe that type. Hate away, Craig. Hate away.

Oh were you planning on EATING your halloween candy? Because it's all full of razor blades and cocaine, you know.

It's like those FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD FWD "rape tips" chain emails that say men will hide under women's cars in parking lots and slash your ankles, at first you're like "paranoia fuel!" (if you're that type of person) but when you think it through it makes no sense.

Yeah you know he was like "just find something red to wear for your group" and she was like "FUCK YES SEQUINS" she goes big or goes home.

I felt the same way :( it's a really cool video though!

I use coconut oil and Honey Trap (the chapstick by LUSH). I use Honey Trap normally but at night when I go to bed I add the coconut oil because it's slightly more moisturising, but it's also too greasy for daily use.

Someone's going to beat me to it but coffee latte woman might have wanted a cafe au lait, it's coffee with steamed milk. She was probably just stupid but there is a sort of coffee latte situation in existence.

For the record, if you ever thought Disneyland WASN'T a fetid wasteland of contagious disease you were fooling yourself. I thank that place for my hardcore immune system.

I have never heard pee before sex, I've only ever heard pee after sex... I mean, I guess pee before sex makes sense in the "pee before you do anything" logic, but in the "prevent UTIs" sense, I wasn't even aware this was a thing.

Whelp he did not get me an engagement ring, he got me a "premarriage ring", aka, a wedding ring before we were even married, because why spend the money on something I was only going to wear such a short time? And then we broke up before graduation when I "contradicted him in public" proving what a defiant,…

BUT DID SHE EVER FIND HER PHONE

I would never have assumed it's a racial thing, more of a "hair type" thing, but all of my friends who say they have to wash their hair daily are hispanic, whereas those of us who let oil build up for a week or so so we can pretend it has some texture (lol no, that's dirt) are primarily white. Please note: we all…

I wrote her a fan letter during Eden too! But I was 12, so no concerts for me.

I might have told this story on Jezebel before, but my first roommate (college, shared room) brought her five foot bald python to school and hid it under the bed. I was looking for an outlet and saw what looked like a minifridge covered by a blanket. NO IT WAS A SMALL TANK AND IT HAD EYES HOLY FUCK

Which is weird because I was regular as fuck until I went on the pill. Now I literally don't get periods. I get crampy and meh once a month but there was a gradual ebb in the flow over the course of a few years until it just went away. I haven't had one in probably 4 years now. I'm not complaining and my doctor was…

I punched myself in the eye unplugging my laptop from the wall.

EXACTLY. LAWYERED.

I mean, it's pee. That doesn't look or smell like pee. Sure, scientists.

Yeah that shit goes deep.