I’ve enjoyed the recent Oxford comma lawsuit since it allows me to answer “What does it matter?” with “It matters by about ten million dollars.”

Most people are really asking “What can you do for me?” or “How would developing a relationship with you now pay off in the future?”

Lately I’ve been trying to avoid asking this question when making small talk. I think asking this more often than not leads to bad conversation, either because the other person’s job is boring or because they simply might not want to talk about work in an out-of-work environment.

Close. It’s usually along the lines of “Ha, I haven’t voluntarily read a book since I graduated!” or a dumb comment incorporating as much incorrect grammar as possible, including double negatives and ain’t.

Stop asking me boring questions, then.

Nibble on their ear, give them a wink and tell them “That one’s on the house.”