As a pathetic Russophile who also loves her mom, vodka, and feisty women more than most things in the world, Happy Mother's Day to your mom and thanks for sharing that.

She is. She really is.

Not cool, not cool at all, but funny. This is a couple years ago. My mom overheard some kids say the words "two girls one cup" and laugh about it. As usual, she intends to ask me or my sister WHAT IS MEANS but forgets. A couple weeks later, during Thanksgiving, my sister and our friends (grad students who weren't…

Also, you can paint your nails in a super sloppy way, take a shower and scrape the nail polish that landed on your fingers off in seconds.

And Mo Rex is a mom?

Wait, those ladies are mamas? How did I not know this?

"Given the choice, I'd much rather have been born to parents who wanted me, and if I just hadn't been born at all I wouldn't be around to regret it."

Horrible news! I loved that show!

I don't see the problem. You found a beautiful outfit and you want to wear it to a formal occasion. You're not fucking wearing it on Halloween.

Happy Mother's Day Mama Jezzies! And Happy Mother's Day to my amazing mom, who:

I get saddest about the destruction of the left oppositionists. I'm sure you, sweetheart, wouldn't have made it through the thirties.

Kirov, let me remind you, was also a victim, a sacrificial lame.

Yep. Can't parse it. "Almost paradoxical" in the preceding paragraph is confusing too.

BETTER DEAD THAN RED

Me too. I've been in bed for two hours and I'm just bored. Cannot sleep. Ugh.

Sleep.

You're welcome.

He takes very little shit.

Huh. You're the rare case where your general persona makes one think you're less hot than you are. Well done, or something.

He absolutely means to hurt me. He's saying: fuck off bitch. You may be bigger than I am so you can humiliate me by holding me as though I were a baby, but one of these days I'm going to get your eye.