I want what you want.

I preferred you as a summertime carjacker.

I can see your side, surely. It's your family, after all. But if he's rarely been abroad, his desire to do so might feel huge to him. And it's a pretty huge opportunity for him, if he has been sheltered all these years.

He kind of looks like a mouth breather to me.

I LOVE kissing the pads on my cat's paws. The problem is, I hold him like a baby and then put his paw to my lips. And if I misinterpret his mood, he swipes me across the face with his claws. He's never scarred me, but he's drawn blood on several occasions.

Ex-Jezpats is a singularly confusing term.

I'm talking deep, cutting betrayal too. The kind where they know the pain they're causing. That special kind that is incredibly cruel, rare, and almost impossible to understand.

Exactly.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

When I'm on an OT or GT and my favorite Jezzies aren't around, I feel weirdly abandoned. Like — what are they doing living their lives when they could be here, talking to me? What's wrong with them? Where are their priorities? Am I so unloveable?

I don't think so. If it was really weird I wouldn't have seen it coming.

Yeah, I have. Once. It looks pretty fantastic, especially on cheeks and eyes.

When did you decide that writing in verse was a good idea?

Is there anything as depressing in the world as a friend who betrays a friend? No. At least there's some comfort in having Shakespearean-level human drama and its attendant pain. Except that feeling a lot isn't really fashionable nowadays; we're supposed to say, without considering if it's true or false, "I'm too good…

I'd kiss anyone with that tattoo, no questions asked.

But I never mention "nice guys" in my profile. Why is he thinking about them? Eew.

Anne Applebaum's Gulag? If so, yes. Definitely Child 44, on a whim.

If you want to meet new people, have you tried something as simple as Craigslist's Activity Partners section, or their platonic section or whatever?

Speak for yourself. I eat steak tartare and I don't think I've ever used hand sanitizer. Or been sick, for that matter, which I suppose is your point.

OKC message from educated-seeming fellow: "I'm guessing you're not really into the whole 'nice guy' thing, but I'll settle for seeing if you're up for vodka." What on God's earth does that mean?