That's a lot of goddamn medals for pussing out.

Shenanigans!!! He isn't even in a fucking bed!

Here's a pretty fucking goddamn scary story:

So, performing oral sex on a student isn't an "Option" after all?

Yay, sportsball!

Oh, my God! She sounded totes ADORABLE. And she's only five feet tall? Now I have a boner.

I'm calling bullshit: dollars to doughnuts the first thing she did was cry. I mean, let's face it, she's a woman.

They're praying for her (i.e., not doing anything)?

Guess they should've got the Abortion Clinic expansion pack.

I just don't see how anything with "best" smack-dab in the middle of its name can be that bad for you. Typical liberal media.

The Nineteenth Amendment.

Pig motherfucking sooie!

Turn a blind eye and let Buzz Aldrin punch them in the face? That's how I would do it.

"Stop refrigerating your butler." - "Tomb Raider II"

Hey, Christy Mack, I dunno, maybe next time don't get with a guy with neck tats. Just a thought.

I still only have five bucks in my Navy Federal savings account. Like, no one wants to hire me with the discharge the Marines gave me, and it wasn't even dishonorable. :(

I think his definition of "restraint" is not using live ammunition.

Ah, fuckin' nerds.

Here's a comment: You're an adult, stop playing dress-up, weirdos.

Yeah. Whatever happened to Mom & Pop Army?