What? Fuck that; he doesn’t even deserve fifteen bucks.

They don’t even fucking sell eggnog!!!

Ever try watching them at night on acid? God, I wanna do that so bad.

Really, Hulu? Gross.

I assume that isn’t SOP.

Yeah, they probably should’ve gotten the cart out there once Bourjos (who I doubt will be getting any sleep tonight) indicated dude wasn’t moving.

Yeah, it looked real bad like it was straight knee to neck.

Apparently, he was able to wave a hand as they carted him off the field, so he had motor function at the time, which is a good sign.

Yep, rape is one of their things.

Procreation—our biological imperative, it takes over, consumes us. It makes us stupid.

Well, he’s certainly a pro at being your typical, shitty American cop now. Way to show improvement and fall in line with your colleagues Trooper Encinia! We knew you had it in you!

I gave up on women, and so now I just jerk off whenever I feel like it. Plus, I don’t have to buy my left hand shit on Valentine’s Day!

Yes, thank you for the information here.

Maybe, but she had 3o days. Hell, she could’ve gone after business hours. I’m sure there’s at least some desk sergeant there around the clock.

Hey, Kara, fuck you.

Won’t you please join me for my TEDx talk on how to rotate your goddamned phone 90 degrees and shot in landscape mode?

So... you used to have eighty bucks? That’s cool, I guess.

So... you used to have eighty bucks? That’s cool, I guess.

My thoughts exactly. My go-to drunk chow is a Jimmy John’s hoagie. On occasion, two of them.

It should also help you get drunk quicker.

I blame the seemingly nonstop churning out of easy comicbook movies. It’s like, sans A Most Violent Year, is anyone even fucking trying anymore? Christ.