Nothing like some sphincter dentata talk to liven up another drab Thursday morning

Hey look, we can argue all day whether gender reveal parties are good or bad, but let’s at least all agree that videos of little kids at gender reveal parties throwing a tantrum because THEY WANTED A LITTLE SISTER NOT A STUPID BROTHER or vise versa are always good

Edit: Meh, never mind; everyone else has already made the “that guy is actually 27" joke, I’ll just take the L here and show myself out

Look just because she’s legally a hobbit doesn’t mean she can’t have nice, normal-sized big-folk things

I mean, username checks out?

Don Jr.’s transformation into the putz in Die Hard that gets himself killed trying to rat out John McClane is nearly complete

Look, I generally don’t regret having a PlayStation over an Xbox (or diesel-powered PC rig) all this time, but it absolutely kills me that there isn’t even, like, a cheap facsimile of this for the PS4.

I’m reminded of the magazine ads for the ‘95 Impala SS:

Look, agree or disagree with Kamala’s history in politics; heck, agree or disagree with Joe Biden’s legislative record; but the one thing we can all land on is that come the VP debate, Kamala Harris is going to RIP MIKE PENCE’S HEAD OFF WITH HER BARE HANDS AND SLAM DUNK IT OVER HIS STILL-TWITCHING CORPSE.

I mean...let’s wait and see, but if things break bad in November, then “developing nation that pollutes like it’s 1977 LA” could ABSOLUTELY describe the United States in a couple years

I ask as a 35-year-old white man: Oh god, this doesn’t happen to all of us at 36, does it?!

Well, somebody had to post it:

We can only hope that next time, the car lands directly on the monster choosing to film it vertically

Based on the themes in play here this basically sounds like “What if The Crown, but American”

In this cursed year there is, at best, a 72% chance that the treasure is protected by an ancient and horrible curse that will torment its discoverer for eternity

I was lucky enough to catch this at its premiere at last year’s Sundance (very much a right-place-right time situation, I ain’t no high roller), and I left the theater thinking that this was a movie that came out maybe a dozen years too late. It was trying super hard to capture the “quirky heartfelt indie” vibe a la I…

Look, obviously there’s systemic racism in policing and it needs to be dealt with urgently, but I’m not going to be pro-any move that would prevent me from getting a 400K-mile interceptor at auction for $800 sometime down the road

SPOILER ALERT HE’S ACTUALLY PALPATINE’S GREAT NEPHEW NOW

For every region and diocese that takes this seriously, I’ll bet you there are at least 3 megachurches in suburban Texas that will make sure to round up any missing members with a shotgun.

The Navy is now considering re-christening the carrier under a new name, the U.S.S. Constitutional