I wish my kids looked at me the way Thomas's does after being out of work for 11 months

Serves those bandwagon Las Vegas fans right. 5 years ago I bet most of them didn’t even know Vegas had a team.

I know things look promising right now, but Caps fans know there’s still an opportunity to blow this.

Jeff Fisher: I mean, who wouldn’t be mad after being erroneously called “Boikin” in a text?

Looks like the step kids can’t get along,

The AP Stylebook changed its guidelines last year to recommend crash instead of accident when any type of “negligence is claimed or proven.” (Which applies here, even without any traffic violations or other charges, since police found her at fault.)

Oh great, now Durant is going to jump ship and join Bud Light this offseason.

I’m puzzled by the behavior of someone who clicks on an article titled “The Cavaliers can’t win Game 5. Or can they? (No) (But maybe)” and then takes to the comments to complain that the article does not make a decisive prediction about what will happen in Game 5.

He also molested the girl for two fucking years. It wasn’t some one off thing he did; it was a sustained campaign of abuse. Which he admitted to!

No.

*looks at last name*

One of these days I want a hit batter to just calmly take his base, let the situation cool down, and then blindside rush the pitcher from the first base.

“Mr. Briles, you enticed recruits with offers of snacks and rape without consequence, and you know how we frown upon free food to recruits.”

Expect Raymond Felton to weigh in soon. His workout bonus depends on it.

IVE CAUGHT A FOOTBALL FROM PEYTON MANNING AND I KNOW WHAT COMMITMENT IS AND YOU PUSSIES CANT HANDLE BEING A MAN.

Tears of rage as he remembered that other people would be enshrined with him on that day, and that the 8th grade coach who relegated him to B-team somehow escaped the car bomb explosion.

Damn, Derek Fisher STILL won’t give up on the triangle.