I read my wife the copy for the $800 tree and her exact response was “Does it come decorated with $750 in cash? Because if so, I’ll take it!”

So is Jeffrey

Maybe it’s because I’m a millennial or whatever, but I had never heard of Williams-Sonoma until last week when I saw it in the mall and it looked like a place I could find something quick to get my mom. I was in a rush, so I just grabbed something that I thought she’d like without looking at the price (rookie mistake,…

Williams Sonoma chocolates, as produced under licence from:

But what about the cube vanilla marshmallows? My dad got a box last year as a gift and we didn’t know what to make of them till someone finally tried one. They taste awesome, but I’m still not sure if they’re $25 awesome. The best part though was the comment section on the order page for the things, where everyone was…

Drew, the trick to serving the Carmel Apple to 16 of your dinner guests for dessert is to purchase the 22.95 apple slicer.

I call it The Aristocrats

Copy: “Belgian white, milk, and dark chocolate mice are tempered until smooth and creamy and neatly arranged in a tin, ready for giving.”

ITEM #23-4203258 – RABBIT AERO LEVER 2.0

Anyone else getting Fleshlite vibe off this picture?

It’s going to be a really awkward day at the Food Network when she cuts her finger during filming and Jeffrey smothers her with a pillow.

Sounds like someone’s got an oxycontin addiction!

I don’t think I’m comfortable with the only Jewish item in this catalog being made by fucking Nordic Ware.

The damn thing was even sold out at one point.

the day this post gets published is one of my favorite days of the year.

They’re so good that I’ll suck my own dick to completion?

I think I look forward to this article every year with increasingly more anticipation than I do actual Christmas.

Anyway, if I’m putting any antlers on the table, they’re gonna be real. None of these poseur antlers for me. I’m taking down Bambi’s mom and then making her head the centerpiece of my turkey dinner.

No thanks. I’m buying this $85 rock from Nordstroms with which I will hit myself repeatedly to unconsciousness until 2020.