Hey, Luke put in solid two weeks of training on Dagobah! Either that, or Han and Leia were hiding in space slug’s mouth for six months while Luke trained. Take your pick.

A living vampire really widens the field for two-legged mermaids and banshees with laryngitis.

Me also some kind of monster, but me draw line at whiny manifestos.

Sounds like they’ll really be preserving the old ways from being abused, and protecting the new ways for me and for you. What more could they do?

Perhaps he’ll be playing the titular Sir Watchman, everybody’s favorite costumed hero.

Xi Jinping seems like a very tiggered snowflake.

Tigger, please.

This all comes from not having front doors big enough.

Oh, bother.

MAGA chuds petitioning to remove the ‘black’ from ‘black lodge’ in an effort to make it more neutral for white people.

“We turn the sound down and say rude things!”

Mitch McConnell is every name on my Arya Stark list. 

Does anyone call this Bleopardy?

To be fair, 63 million of those views were from Scrawler.

“These are not the takes you’re hot for.”

That blaster belongs in a museum!

Kinja, I’ve trolled from one side of this Internet to the other, and I’ve seen a lot of strange memes, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s some all-powerful Forcebook controlling everything. It’s all a lot of simple tweets and nonsense.

Solo: A Star Wars Story finally revealed the origin of Han Solo’s iconic DL-44 blaster pistol (He got it from Woody Harrelson! Wow!)

He should go even further back. Zygote Driver. RNA Driver. Self-Replicating Precursor Molecule Driver.

Becky: Things have been kind of rough since Mom crashed her car into that truck carrying radioactive waste.

Darlene: Yeah, and it’s even worse that the driver was pigeon...