Paul Woodrugh, Landscaper: “These trees. They have leaves all over them.”

Arsène Wenger - The man that makes me cheer for Chelsea while Mourinho is there. Fucking hell is that man annoying. Here’s a direct quote from a press conference:

A thousand seasons, and not a single prospect of this guy getting laid anywhere in that time.

Not Franks but that Manson looking henchman “He’s half anaconda half great white” or some shit.

Me: “This show is ridiculous, I bet Paul walks out that door and gets shot in the back.”

This fails to move the empathy meter of any Detroit Lions fan I know.

screenshotted at work because Drew is a SMUG GLORY BOY:

agreed - Emmitt is the one part that I can’t read at normal reading speed. it’s like trying to read Huckleberry Finn, and, unlike the latter, not as rewarding in the end.

The 2003 Detroit Tigers highlight film. They lost 119 games that year.

And he also said in that same press conference that he “would do nothing different at all in that game” in regards to how he used his bullpen.

I refuse to believe that Jacksonville doesn't have anyone like ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER to contribute to this

I start out telling them about how when I was in high school, I saw MJD and Marcedes Lewis play against each other at the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim of Disneyland Stadium for the CIF championship.

My bad, that’s the Jags own head of PR. even better.

Lost in the shuffle here, did anyone else notice that the Jags beat reporter is apparently named Tad Dickman? Has there ever been anything more perfect in world history? no, no there most certainly has not.

Baseball games are too long. Can’t they end after 6 innings?

I’m firmly in the “Ausmus needs to go” camp, but with the bullpen the Tigers have right now, I’d probably be managing for extras too. This team can’t hold a lead. They pissed away a 6-1 lead against Minnesota on July 10th. They gave up 7 runs in the bottom of the 9th while only getting one out. How the fuck does that…

I think Brad Ausmus is really good, you guys! We are an ok team, and that’s just splendid. <points loaded gun at head>

Can we trade our manager at the deadline? Not that he’s the only issue, but he sure is a dipshit. Especially for someone with an Ivy League education.

Michigan native, as well. That Noon on Sunday law sucked ass. How do they think people can make it through church without a couple shots of tequila?