I hope he’s retiring just to get out of his contract so he can sign somewhere else.

DeMarcus Cousins Went Supernova On The Hornets

I was pulled over in high school with a cup that previously had beer in it sitting in the holder (my friend in the passenger seat had been drinking, not me). The cup also, for some reason, had a grocery bag balled up inside it. The officer asked to see the cup, and I panicked like any 17 year old would at that moment.…

Are wireless Beats™ now in the standard issue Douche Bag kit?

Eli’s just sad that Mara won’t tell him why he won’t be able to visit the big farm upstate where Coughlin will get to run around with all his friends.

i’ve already been boycotting my team because of Greg Hardy. Best case scenario they cut the slime offseason. Worst case scenario they actually are stupid enough to pick up this guy and keep Hardy thus severing the relationship forever (at least until Jerrah dies). God I wish Romo would get traded so he could get a…

Wow. I have that weird adrenaline rage feeling that you get right before a fight. Just because I read that.

Best birthday month is August actually. There are never any other commonly recognized holidays in August so birthdays that month function as a useful excuse to get drunk/goof off that would otherwise be sorely lacking. Without August birthdays all we’d have is the very rare Ramadan or Eid al-Fitr, 4th string holidays…

I got the runs just reading that recipe.

I swear it's on a comment-by-comment basis, but maybe you got lucky and got a follow from someone. You're lucky, I still have to live in both worlds. Sometimes I'm gray, sometimes I'm not. It's just so hard to know who I am anymore.

“Do you think those two might be related ma’am?”

This is my favorite one, mostly because I’m picturing the cop standing on your front porch taking notes about the “burglary.”

I'm hoping that because of this close result, Iowa goes to the Rose Bowl rather than Ohio State.

I once got busted after cleaning up SO GOOD after a party. Everything was golden until my parents turned on the big ornate frosted glass light fixture in the living room. Turns out some jackasses at my party made a game of flicking beer caps up in to it. Invisible while the light was off but so fucking obvious the…

Notwithstanding the horrible outcome of that particular gag gift, did you ever get into butt play?

“BRO. Did you hear what Ron did?”

“Our river never caught fire.” — Detroit

Factory of sadness continues

Might as well go out as he came in.