Derek Jeter, because, New York.

@phantomplanet - looks like Barry is in our club. To celebrate, here's a photo from the Finsbury Park show last summer.

I fucking love Arctic Monkeys

I want to see that happen so bad. You know that guy would would put on a better performance than half the nominees. "Stop everything, this man has LIED to you all!!!" (crowd gasps in shock)

Good call. Makes for easy mass disposal in case things don't end well. I referred to my last one as the "bag o' sadness" before I finally brought myself to huck it into a dumpster.

My favorite part:

agree 100%. When Ed Harris showed up on screen I sighed and said "Of course it's Ed Harris"

the Keira Knightley movie list really pushes this piece into the stratosphere for me

My buddy is from Ohio and he dips mozzarella sticks in ranch dressing.

That's not the giveaway. Never enough ranch is the giveaway.

What's worse than just the fact that we had to hear them think aloud was how they made virtually every part of the presentation MORE awkward than it needed to be. More than half the time they were speaking completely out of place. Kenny Smith's "Oh he's gonna do a one-hand 360! He's gonna do a one hand 360! On the off…

can we talk about Kenny the jet constantly calling that a 540 and not understanding the basic principles of how a to measure a circle?

On being in the Chuck costume:

Ugh. I hesitate to even write this down, only because there is no way to even make it funny or mock-poetic: I farted really loudly while acting in a professional production of a Shakespeare play. I was in the middle of a monologue, so everyone was watching and listening to me intently when it happened. The production…

I was 18. Freshman year at a shitty state school and we went to a bar that didn't question questionable IDs. Mostly because it was a shitty. townie bar and all the girls were monsters. After a few drinks I went to take a piss. The weird thing was their bathrooms didn't have urinals. I didn't think anything of it and…

So I meet some friends in a local dive bar. I order a beer and go to the back near the pool table where one of our friends is waiting for his game. He's already drunk, and he starts making comments about the pair who were engaged in their game. It was a guy and his girlfriend. The guy was being an ass to his…

A few years ago my toenail on my big toe started turning black. Concerned, I went to see the podiatrist. After about 5 minutes of deliberation it was discovered that my toenail was being stained by new black socks I had been wearing

your shittiness has produced some fine-ass kinja, and so I think for all of us when I say thanks for this.

I went to the Sprint store in college to get a new phone - the first phone I had ever signed up for/bought myself, so I got to pick out a cool one (this is early 2000s, so 'cool' is relative) and not some stupid brick Motorola. It's Saturday afternoon and super busy in there, so there's a line and a lot of people…

When I was a freshman in college, during my first week of classes I brought my brand-new laptop to my school's library and sat in the crowded first floor in the "quiet area." I plugged in my headphones, opened my notes, and started playing some tunes.