This is just a guy flopping to try to get a charge? MEH

Odds Bill Simmons gets a DUI this year are -150

Every time there’s a Deadspin article on Simmons, people in the comments start up about “well he’s not a great writer but his real talent is assembling writers.” Can we dispel with this notion, because the Ringer is absolute butt.

Brady would be 3-4 in Super Bowls if not for the other team choking

You can’t stop what’s coming, that’s vanity

Wow we must have gone to high school together. The Selmons were absolutely the best family I’ve ever met. Eufala still has a sign when you drive into town, “Welcome to Eufaula, home of the Selmons”