Aesop would be proud.

“University”

Straight steal : Suicide squeeze :: _______ : Nuremberg Defense...discuss-

Stolen home plate hipsters are the worst.

As both a former stoner and skater, I can assure you those dudes were just baked.

This is some fun I’ve had lately: go to high five your bro/coworker, and as he comes up with an open palm switch to fist bump. He will try to follow suit, but you’ve already switched back. You can get two more “fumbles” in before he’s completely flummoxed and you grasp hands awkwardly as you say, “White Guys!” Best if…

(Sort of related) The M.I.T. football cheer:

All I know is this font is a turn-off.

No, but I am waiting for someone to point out that this is a terrible idea, because since Troll doesn’t know the difference, it would fold in half a day.

Apple, meet orange. You should open a fruit stand.

“I AM: TRISTAN DAEDALUS!!”

“Your bad trip on PCP”? Call me PollyAnna, but I’ve got a serious dearth of first person accountings of “good trips on PCP”. I say this as a decorated veteran of psychadelic/empathogenic campaigns of escapism. They must be out there, but you know what I’m saying?

“Home.”

Fucking sickening and stupid, and that's not just the hangover talking.

“Dear Sir,

What a good idea.

BORING

And with one comment, you’ve lost all culinary street cred. pinche pendejo

Emoji: for when words fail you.

If your “beliefs” cause unjustified suffering, you shouldn’t be allowed to use that neutral sounding word.