Stolen home plate hipsters are the worst.

This is some fun I’ve had lately: go to high five your bro/coworker, and as he comes up with an open palm switch to fist bump. He will try to follow suit, but you’ve already switched back. You can get two more “fumbles” in before he’s completely flummoxed and you grasp hands awkwardly as you say, “White Guys!” Best if…

All I know is this font is a turn-off.

No, but I am waiting for someone to point out that this is a terrible idea, because since Troll doesn’t know the difference, it would fold in half a day.

Apple, meet orange. You should open a fruit stand.

“I AM: TRISTAN DAEDALUS!!”

“Your bad trip on PCP”? Call me PollyAnna, but I’ve got a serious dearth of first person accountings of “good trips on PCP”. I say this as a decorated veteran of psychadelic/empathogenic campaigns of escapism. They must be out there, but you know what I’m saying?

“Home.”

Fucking sickening and stupid, and that's not just the hangover talking.

“Dear Sir,

And with one comment, you’ve lost all culinary street cred. pinche pendejo

Emoji: for when words fail you.

If your “beliefs” cause unjustified suffering, you shouldn’t be allowed to use that neutral sounding word.

“Now let’s go watch 300.”

I don't touch anything that has Macklemore on it, sorry.

I don’t even follow basketball, and I’m moving to Sactown fuck it

Kinja is a capricious set of gods, rewarding the funny, the insightful, the true, and the counterpoint...on any given day. Be yourself, and don’t take it personally if you are judged to be stupid, boring, or dull. Not everyone gets handed the “smart” or “entertaining” card upon exiting the womb.

No judgment bro, carry on. (Muppets- they're just like us!)

So in addition to everything else, he’s anti-living wage. Nice.

Dju viddy my blog name tho. Levels, man. Watch it again.