Trebek: And the category for Final Jeopardy! is "People". And the clue is:

[removes human suit]

"Revenge! You crossed me one too many times."

All that hard work for nothing, Brad Paisley and LL Cool J.

That's like threatening to fight every heterosexual at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

I love that you're confused/appalled at this. It's like a West Indian slang. It just means super super understand. Hyperbole for emphasis.

Have my grandparents taken over Jez comments today? I haven't heard this many "Well, but white people have done that! So it can't be racist!" arguments since last Christmas.

"Was this planned? Maybe"

Come on Patricia! That should be, "Was this planned? Obviously."

I mean, it really is that obvious that this is scripted.

And freaking hilarious!!!

Same here on his AWFUL column. Totally unreadable.

I'm a total advice column junkie, but I cannot abide Cary's column. He uses 1,000 words and strained metaphors to give really shitty advice.

Tangent: I don't know why Cary Tennis gets paid to give advice on anything. He's insufferable.

Wow, did he actually provide direct advice that didn't meander into an inane metaphor involving porpoises or some such?

"MUTTS?"

DID YOU REALLY JUST CALL US FUCKING DOGS?

My answer is neither one.

OH MY GAWD WHY DO YOU AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING FRIENDS CONTINUE TO READ AND COMMENT ON JEZEBEL?

If all your relationships wind up going wrong in the same way and you sincerely don't think you're doing anything wrong, then maybe you need to reevaluate the criteria by which you choose your romantic partners. My guess is that if you consistently date the sort of girls who would break up with someone via text, then…

this. does reddit give its users a warning when a story like this is posted somewhere on the internet?

Please, no one take this advice.

this is so obvious it almost seems like satire.

Hug or choke-hold...?