THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING! I didn’t take all that money from the Pakistani treasury just so I could play second fiddle to some Ukrainian with body odor.

A friend of mine hooked up with Eugene Hutz (Gogol Bordello), and she has such an exaggerated sense of accomplishment about it. That’s like casually mentioning to everyone that you came in 8th place in a beauty pageant.

I don’t live in DC, but I’ve had 2 connecting flights at Dulles. Both times we sat on the runway for over 2 hours because somebody fucked something up in the scheduling or lineup or whatever it’s called and we had to wait until the traffic jam cleared. I will never fly out of that shithole again.

Did you work in the entertainment industry? I do, and that's the only place I've regularly ever heard comments like that in LA — and I grew up here.

My girlfriend is about the same size as Gina Rodriguez. I'm not aware of our friends or family ever implying that she's fat, or saying she needs to lose weight, and she…

Same here.

I groaned when I read the title.

I'd really prefer we stop worshiping people who can get up on a board. Half of the people out there nowadays don't know what they're doing, but they "hang ten" and prattle on in "surfer talk" because people who have never been on a board treat them like they're superhuman.

There are very few things that are more…

This system should replace all of Rich Juzwiak's masturbatory 20,000 word album reviews on Gawker. Do you like it or not, Rich? You don't need to spend 4 paragraphs analyzing the use of the word "toast" in one song to tell us that.

That's not always true. I'm a thin guy, and I've tried dating bigger women before, but it doesn't work out because we have completely different lifestyles. I like to stay active, and whenever I've dated a larger woman, she's led a relatively sedentary lifestyle. It gets to the point where I just think "I can't sit in…

Can we put a hold on the unadulterated praise of Joan Rivers for a moment and talk about her hypocrisy in regards to the WGA?

That's a bodyboard, not a surfboard. I don't know why the guy who posted the video would title it "pug surfing" when the dog is on a bodyboard, unless he's implying that it's surfing because the dog is standing up?

This is frustrating to me as both a surfer and an internet commenter who has nothing better to do with…

Not if it snows.

I'm just glad Jessica Alba didn't learn to act between the two films, because that really would have thrown off the continuity.

The schedule is wrong.

I ran into Martin Sheen standing outside of a restaurant a few years ago. I said "Excue me, Mr. Sheen, but I just wanted to tell you I loved The West Wing."

Three of them were also convicted of gang-raping a telephone operator at the same location.

I went to a UC, and here's what I remember each school being famous for:
UCSB: Rapists
UCI: Racists
UCSC: Banana slugs (and surfers)
UC Berkeley: People who want you to know they went to Cal
UCLA: People who want you to know they went to UCLA
UCM: There's a UCM?
UCR: Fast food restaurant managers
UCSD: Fish-man mascot
UC…

My grandmother used to make the banana cream dessert with Nilla Wafers. Now I'm curious to try it with Oreos.

Except I didn't work in the UK and we called it "the rotary" before that guy got his hand caught in it. Nice try, though.

I used to work at a resort that had one of these. We started referring to it as "The Mangler" after some dumbass got his hand caught in there.