Don't you listen to anything Howie Long says.

And I believe someone just said that Michigan State ran into a buzzsaw.

Where, where, WHERE did that Burger King/Mix-A-Lot/Spongebob commercial come from, and when is it going back there?

Okay, tired of the Pedroia commercial. That was fast.

Some outfielder is gonna break his neck going after a ball at Citi because there's only about a foot between the lines and the walls.

And now we're talking about Gary Sheffield. Awesome.

"And then you open up, because you're open."

I think I like it best when Joe trails off midsentence. It means that whatever he says is only half as stupid as it could be.

at least you guys aren't paying him $14 mil for this season. DOUBLE FUCK.

Oh yeah, there is no fucking way Sheffield can play RF in that place. No way.

This. Is. Awesome.

Time to tell the Lehigh Valley IronPigs to clear out a roster spot.

/kicks lifeless RYLAI in the crotch

Damn I miss FJM. John Miller tries to talk about OPS and Morgan acts like he was talking about batting average. Urge to kill rising already.

Did anyone just hear them booing? I mean, not that I'm surprised, since it's Philly, but you'd think they'd at least have a game or two in good spirits.

So, O/U on number of games until Steve Phillips gets audibly annoyed at Joe Morgan, 7?

I hadn't seen that Dustin Pedroia commercial, but I have to admit, I kind of like it.

you young fellas don't understand the true DUAN rites of spring. The annual renaming is amongst them.

Despite wanting both of these teams to be incinerated in a tragic meteor strike... BASEBALL!!!

I hate you, point spread. I hate you so much.