Me too! I also try to leave the house picked up enough before bed so if we were all murdered in our sleep, the news would describe it as well-kept.

So, how'd you do that? And is there a way to interpret it for the non-sewers? I made those fleece tie blankets for my kids. I bet I could do a mermaid tail- it would just look like a sad, raggedy-ass mermaid.

Okay, teacher Jezzies, my sister wrote this, and it’s hilarious and you should all read it because you’ll relate. And because it’s the first thing she’s had published, and she’s super excited, and I'm really, really proud of her. http://www.weareteachers.com/blogs/post/201…

I think in life you always wonder a little bit about the road not taken, and maybe dreams like this are your subconcious’ way of doing just that? I find that I have the dreams more frequently during times of change or upheaval. (They happened so much when I was pregnant. Ugh, talk about feeling squicky after!!) My…

Every so often I dream that my old boyfriend reappears, and I take up with him, and I eventually have to choose between him and my husband. I always wake up feeling really icky and stay kind of unsettled for the rest of the day.

I never once warmed a wipe in any way. My kids never seemed bothered by it, and thus far have not shown any sign of becoming maladjusted sociopaths, so I’m going to assume there are no lasting ill-effects. But I am definitely a heartless monster, because even if they had been able to articulate as babies, “Mommy, I…

That is a glorious baby. You should definitely keep him. One of my 7 year olds has decided that he can only pee in my bathroom at night. And he has to wake me up beforehand to let me know. It's loads of fun.

Every baby likes different crap- that’s the kicker. But FWIW, my boys all LOVED the baby gyms. Honestly, some of my sweetest memories are waking up with the twinados at the buttcrack of dawn on weekends, plopping them on the floor under the baby gyms, and enjoying an entire cup of coffee in front of HGTV while they…

We had a changing table, but I never once used it. I was of the “toss a towel on whatever surface is handy” school of thought. But the shelves below the table were awesome for holding storage baskets. And I lined up the menagerie of stuffed animals on the top of it, so it definitely didn’t go to waste!

They are super cute, and I’m totally kidding! My first was a summer baby, and my twins were such preemies that they practically wore fur coats until August!

Amen! And I didn’t get any baby legs legwarmers. Nosiree, I just relied on my fat rolls to keep me warm like God intended!

Now that might be worth it...

I have no idea. I never bought one because after pondering it, I went, “wait, wtf? This is stupid.”

But what are you going to do when you have to do a diaper change away from home? Get peed on I guess... ;)

Good lord. And I struggled with whether or not I really needed a baby wipe warmer. (spoiler- you don’t)

I was thinking about those stuffing waffles today. I even mentioned it to my husband.

We ate at my aunt’s, so we didn’t have any leftovers. I got up and roasted a fucking turkey breast this morning, made a pan of dressing, and a batch of gravy, just so we could have Thanksmas sandwiches for lunch. And it was worth it!! Wonder bread, mayo, turkey, dressing, gravy, and pomegranate cranberry sauce. Not…

Interesting. I didn’t know that- I’ve never even heard the term “kilo calories.” But that would totally make sense and could explain the origins of this foolishness.

I can only assume that people who believed this have never used any piece of exercise equipment. If you've ever seen how long it takes to burn 67 calories on the elliptical or treadmill, you'll immediately realize how ridiculous the idea of fart-based calorie burn actually is. And yet, I saw that nonsense posted…

My grandmother makes that gravy! That is some nasty shit.