My family is from the South as far back as our records go. Generation upon generation has never left Georgia. And I can tell you from 36 years of observation, every generation gets better. My grandparents were straight up racist, and intolerant of anyone who wasn’t exactly like them. My parents were brought up with…

My husband has been on two business trips in the 12 years he’s worked for his company, and one of them was to South Dakota. He asked me if I wanted to come, but I was like, “why the fuck would I want to go to all the trouble of arranging babysitters to go to South Dakota?” No offense to anyone that adores South…

It holds lots of coffee (or liquor)- which you’ll definitely need.

You’re in!!! Glad to have you!

Welcome, sister. You are doing a great job, and your sweet girl is lucky to have you. Collect your mug and wine bouquet at the door.

It’s cool, you can join our group. We’re the World’s Okayest Moms- and we’ve got the mugs to prove it. (sorry that the picture is giant and fuzzy) Here’s your welcome bouquet.

We made my husband's parents a video slideshow thing for their 30th anniversary. We used In My Life as one of the songs because his dad is a big Beatles fan. They got divorced six months later.

You are adorable and completely delightful, and I wish I had been invited to your fun wedding.

White satin ballet slippers from Payless. $17, and so comfortable that I forgot to change into the Adidas shell toes (blue stripes!) that my bridesmaids got me for the reception.

5 feet tall, so yeah, pretty short.

Neither. I think I'm about as attractive as people say I am. I frequently get "you're so cute!" But I'm not a stunning beauty by any means- I have a mid-30s, mom next door thing that seems to work for me. I'm not stopping traffic, but I'm pleasant looking in an average non-threatening way.

That was lollapalooza. But yeah, same article basically.

A honeymoon is traditionally a gift from the groom to his bride. Would you have wanted him to crowd-source your engagement ring? You can call that school of thought outdated until you're blue in the face, but I'm always going to feel that asking other people to pay for your vacation is tacky.

Because wedding gifts are meant to help a couple set up a home together. And if you already have a a home together and all the stuff you need, then don't register. People will likely give you cash and you can spend it however you want. But asking people to fund your honeymoon is tacky. Sorry. Y'all can call me bad and…

They're making Mallrats 2??!! I'm way more excited than I should be. I know it's probably going to be a hot mess, but 19 year old me is STOKED!

It's on my top ten list for sure. And it was also the first place my boys saw boobs. I was watching it on tv while they were playing in another room. They all ran in right as Liv Tyler whipped her top off. I scrambled for the remote and changed the channel and one of my twins, who was four at time said, "hey, I was…

They'll ruin it, just like TV ruined Olivia.

How old is Ariana Grande? Did she go to college?

Somebody please explain to me what people do with the hour or more of video they recorded on their phone (or stupid fucking ipad) at a concert? Do they watch it later, terrible sound quality and all? I can see recording one song that you really love, or taking a picture or two- but the whole fucking concert? Why???…

The one on the left with the grandma hair reminds me of Cloris Leachman as mawmaw in Raising Hope.