My mom has this totally dated, full length mink that she got in the early 90s that she busts out maybe once a year if it gets cold enough. She really should have gone for the tennis bracelet instead.

Without insurance, they're over $1000. With insurance (or at least, my insurance), they're free. Thanks, Obama!!!!

What kind of IUD did you have? Mine has plastic strings, almost like fishing line.

They're popular in my house. On Mirena #2, and we've been baby free for six years. Woohoo!!!!

Then you would definitively know that your kids are idiots. Seriously, a baggie of weed in the fries? Don't you think they'd at least ask, "Mom, what's this?" before chowing down on it?

Those are slacks. Duh.

I'm pretty sure Spanx can squeeze an errant fat roll out anywhere. With jeans you'll just have doughnut-like cankles and a spare tire around your ribcage. But everything in between will look fantastic.

I think even cousin Eddie is a step up from this guy.

Yeah, the thing I learned from this is that Taylor Swift is not good at embroidery.

Me too. We live in a very small town with an exceptionally low crime rate. I wouldn't leave them if I was going into Target or the grocery store. But if I'm running into the gas station or CVS or the dry cleaner- a place that takes less than 5 minutes and where I'm in full sight of the car the whole time? You'd better…

I used to smoke weed all the time. Literally from the time I got up until I went to bed, I was stoned. But we quit smoking it regularly several years ago, and now smoke maybe once or twice a year. But when I do, I get freezing cold and shake violently, and then spend my entire high obsessing over all the ways I might…

I totally agree that it is never, under any circumstance, okay to blame the victim because she didn't "take care of herself." However, I disagree with your ideas about teaching safety precautions. I teach my kids to be cautious around strangers. I'm not teaching them that all strangers are dangerous, just that you…

Sorry, accidentally posted twice.

Can't we teach both? Obviously, men should be taught not to rape, but that's not going to work in every case. How is teaching women to keep themselves safe a bad thing?

Really? Hell yeah, I'll watch that. When does it start?

That's what my dad and I danced to. He also used it in the picture slideshow he made when I graduated high school. I love my dad.

I had to turn it off once he started singing. The secondhand embarrassment was too much for me.

I don't know how to post pictures, but the winner is obviously Mindy Riggins, dress when she married Billy. It had wings, y'all. WINGS!!

Honestly, I thought it was fairly kind. (Well, as kind as bashing a 73 year old can be.) Because, damn, if we're being honest, Faye Dunaway looks like the crypt keeper. Hopefully, it's just a bad picture, but my 82 year old grandmother looks better and she was never a stunning beauty to begin with.

I'm very disappointed to see no mention of last night's campy incest-fest Petals on the Wind. It made Flowers in the Attic look like a Disney movie! You're letting me down, Jezebel!!!