The Aristocrats!

Lol!! It’s being the lone Cheddar Bo’ amidst the hundreds of Cajun Filet Biscuits.

Attention North Carolina: Stop being dumb fucks.

My wife and her four-year-old child moved out of NC in 2010 to live with me in MN. We got a diagnosis of gender dysphoria when he was eight, and he socially transitioned over the summer. Both my wife and I are inexpressibly glad that she came here instead of me going there.

Eh. Immolation means nothing in Ryan’s world. (Nor do narrative coherence or character consistency, but...)

Team President: Hey, Jason, remember that Thursday is Casual Day.

I think it brought his plot to an epic conclusion. It showed how far he was willing to go for his fire god, that he would do anything for it. Then, in classic GoT fashion, it was all for nothing.

ive already been practicing my takes, you’re welcome everyone who gets to read them twice:

This article seemed so....ham-fisted that it almost reads as tongue in cheek. Recommending that you fake migraines and then be thankful for perhaps eventually suffering from them? I’m sorry, what is this nonsense?

“When you suddenly cancel on friends, you are doing them a favor. You are in effect giving them a snow day, even if they didn’t realize they wanted one.”

She had her eyes done. Looks like a totally different person.

I had a sexual assault incident when I was a teenager. I was on vacation with my family in Florida. I walked on a beach at night eating a candy bar. I was 15 looking for a party I was invited to earlier that day while sitting on the beach. No one was on the beach except a man was sitting at the edge of the water. He…

I’ve had a situation a lot like this happen to me. It’s tough as there’s no right way to handle a car approaching from the rear at super high speeds when it’s not expected. Do you try to move out of their way? Or do you assume they’ll deal with your presence on ‘their’ race track.

I’m a southerner. That was a perfectly executed “bless your heart,” 10/10 would bless.

I thought the most harsh you could get with “Bless your heart” was to say it to someone’s face, but I was wrong; the true nuclear move is to say it to a reporter doing a Vanity Fair profile they will DEFINITELY read

“He’s still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I’m still the only person that knows some of his truths.”

Can’t find a flaw in that.

+1 Python Expert

I heard a new Weezer song the other day, and it’s about girls. Rivers, you’re 40. Stop.

Yes, my son had it, most babies are operated on from ages 6 months-2 years old (and why I take such deep offense to this “article”). Its a very routine surgery if you’re a pediatric urologist. It also heals quickly. So far no post-op complications. You know, except for “feminists” advertising his condition as possible…