You just don’t do that kind of thing in a customer-facing job.

nooooo.

Not on Rex Manning day!

OR JUST BE PALE THATS OKAY TOO JOIN OUR COVEN IN THE SHADE WITH THE SPF30

I had a woman request a new glass of ice water, because, and I can’t make this up, “her ice water was watered down.”

Desky!!

"Dadbod" is interesting, but a while back I started designating the bodies of urban middle aged men (doesn't go to the gym, not fat, not skinny,just somewhat....diminished) as "Desky".

You know that is Revlon Rum Raisin.

Keith Villiardo's story achieves peak Canada.... it takes place at a Tim Horton`s drivethru, involves an eccentric yet harmless customer, and both the server and the customer act amazingly polite all things considered.

AMEN. At first I was relieved to serve at Steakback Outhouse, which had no lunch service back then, but imagine my horror when they decided to open Sunday lunch several months after opening my location. Oh, the hatred.

Obama’s comic timing is amazing. I adore his deadpan snark delivery.

I laughed so hard when my sister phoned to tell me he died cause there wasn’t a neurosurgeon to save him.

I have a dirty confession...I think these dresses are cute as shit. They remind me of the shifts Mia Farrow wore in Rosemary's Baby.

But alas, I am poor, fat, white trash. Maybe if I throw a NASCAR jacket over one of them?

fuck that. hey, universal pictures i’ll write it for 10 bucks

Please explain your choice of stock photo. I must know the thought process.

this is my favorite millihelen feature. Keep doing these please!

I work in a different professional sport, so it's entirely possible that racing doesn't work the same way, though I doubt it. For my sports, ALL traveling staff is taxed in each state visited. You're doing work in another state, and so it doesn't matter whether you're being paid by some central location or not...…

I know Pittsburgh has one, and several other cities.

Yeah, that's why those guys have "people". It's not like Dale Jr. is sitting in front of his computer on the TurboTax website going, "WTF?"

Caftan Liz Taylor is my favorite and also my spirit animal (p.s. This picture is also my avatar because I love it so much).