Just never be one of those assholes who use headphones to have a phone conversation. Hold the handset to your ear, you asshole.

How many of us are hoping that this guy is Zodiac Motherfucker from Drew’s Why Your Team Sucks?

Yikes, I hope all is ok now. I guess in a pregnancy without complications, I would say I’d much prefer my husband to go before than after. The post-birth period (especially if you have a c-section) is hell with the hormones and the screaming newborn and all that junk - I would have divorced my husband if a week or two…

I had an American history teacher show us the unedited version of Platoon, since he was in Vietnam and said that was the most accurate of the many 80s movies about that war.

Yea, you gotta shave in the shower. And I don’t even have a mirror. You just feel around with your hand until you find all the hairy spots.