As I said in my non-hit movie Cruise Boat, I'm getting too old for this ship.

We're developing a show called Who Nose? about an investigative reporter who can't smell. Has to get the stories only using his eyes, ears, and other senses.

Thanks a lot, Liz. I guess I ate all that asparagus for nothing.

They used to call me the Chameleon. Because of my slender frame and my big, wet eyes.

Cranston, why are you crying?

How is that Elmo's fault?!

Actually, today's Republican Party would be unrecognizable to Lincoln. He fought a war to preserve federal authority over the states. That's not exactly small government.

♫ Figrin D’an the kloo horn man
He’s from Clak’dor 7 ♫

Did you know the Today Show used to have a monkey on it? Hasn't been as good since. I think that chimp used to drive the truck himself on You-Know-What and The Bear.

I want to go to there.

♫ She told her daddy she was doin' the microwave….

You know how pissed off I was when U.S. Weekly said that I was on crack? That's racist! I'm not on crack - I'm straight-up mentally ill!

That's the kind of hilarious button chicks can't come up with.

"Believe in the stars." It's like that doesn't even mean anything anymore.

lt's pronounced [don ah FEE] you lace-curtain, half-an-Englishman!

A guy crying about a chicken and a baby? I thought this was a comedy show.

Say hello to "Bono" and "Sandra Day O'Connor!"

I sold the E. To Samsung. They're Samesung now.

Half the building is a laser tag arena!

You don't give me notes!