Two Squirrels
2squirrels
6/15/15
3:33 PM
13

I’m getting stressed about this house-hunting business. Also really annoyed at my parents because every time the slightest financial difficulty arises in my life, their answer is always “get rid of your dogs.” I’ve had my dogs longer than I’ve been married/been a mother to a human. I don’t know why they can’t accept Read more

6/12/15
1:29 PM
14

SPECIAL??? FUCKING SPECIAL? IT’S AS SPECIAL AS BRUSHING YOUR TEETH! NEEDS TO BE DONE AS FREQUENTLY! Read more

6/11/15
11:30 AM
277

It took a pretty embarrasing amount of time for me to realize that. Now, whenever I hear that -

6/11/15
11:18 AM
36

Hahaha man that’s the worst. You get really excited, they get really excited, the more excited you get the more they lose control of what they’re doing, you try to wait it out to see if they’ll come back to the really good thing that you just said “don’t stop!” to, but they don’t and it’s RIP lady boner. Read more

6/11/15
10:53 AM
334

But there’s one thing, above all else, that you should remember as she gets close to orgasm: do not change what you’re doing in terms of routine and pacing. Read more

6/10/15
9:20 PM
80

Keep in mind that some women won’t know what they like, either bc they have never experienced cunnilingus before or have only experienced mediocre cunnilingus. If you keep asking, and they keep not answering, at some point you have to switch tactics. Instead of, “what do you like?” try, “do you like this?” while Read more

6/10/15
2:08 PM
13

After watching a friend bury her 8 year old, I learned that grief is so consuming that one can’t possibly be expected to act “normal”. The week of the child’s funeral, she sent weirdly optimistic emails with smileys. That does not appear close to normal but she was so devastated that she was misfiring all social Read more

6/10/15
1:08 PM
102

Go out in the world and fuck it up beautifully.

6/10/15
8:03 AM
18

I’m replying to myself b/c this is super doxxing, and I want to be able to dismiss if I decide I don’t want it up. I live in McKinney. According to Google Maps, it takes less than 10 minutes to get from my front door to this pool. Read more

6/10/15
7:08 AM
9

Something was certainly off with that cop, whether it was drugs or a power trip, I don’t know. But it was very obvious he was in over his head and had no idea how to calmly control a crowd of obviously unarmed younger teens. Read more

6/9/15
3:51 PM
26

How do you think men’s bathrooms, and more specifically urinals, would be designed if our penises jutted out from the side of our hips? Let’s say 50 percent of guys have right-hip penises, and the other half have left-hip penises. Current design of urinals would suggest you’d be facing someone as you peed. Can you Read more