I actually enjoyed The Lone Ranger; yes, it was about an hour and a half too long (and that hour and a half came at the beginning) and Armie Hammer is wooden as all get-out. But...I'm a sucker for action scenes on a train, and said climactic scene was scored to the William Tell Overture on repeat with no modifications…

Enjoyed this take? Check out more of Ted's Takes:

Dan Snyder finds out what the next hot thing is by reaching up and touching the stovetop.

Based on a very cursory search the prison hotel sounds like San Pedro prison in Bolivia. If you read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Pedro… it makes it sound like one of the last places on Earth I'd like to spend a night.

There Will Be Blood

Barry, you're vastly over-simplifying the process. The Redskins don't just "get" jokes. First, they have to be free-agents. Next, you negotiate the contract. Then, you get them.

I'm imagining the whole voting process to look like this:

League of Penile?

Hey, that's nothing. Eastern Wisconsin also mispronounces "professional basketball team" as "Milwaukee Bucks."

Do NOT fuck this up, people.

Having Thanksgiving more than a month ahead of the United States is what makes Canada such a happy place. That, and clean air. And their healthcare system.

i don't know if i have the kinda cred around here to suggest nominations, but the sentient golf cart had me laughing for days

The shitstorm is brewin' boys

I've found Jazz, Blues, and Classic to help me relax while driving. On the other hand, while listening to metal/rock/rap...

Gluten Free? Then it's for me!

I disagree with this. I had no particular anti-Governor storyline bias (other than thinking the ending of last season was a disappointment), and I was bored out of my skull by this episode.

I swear I watched a video game last night.

Owner of the Atlanta Braves: Liberty Media.