It’s also kind of sad that the second you posit, “What if superheroes were real people in the real world?” pretty much every pillar of the genre collapses. The superhero genre is less like mystery or science fiction, and more like nursery rhymes, or fables. Children’s entertainment. Which is fine.

If I controlled the criminal justice system, I would totally send a dude with boomerangs, a shark man, a sniper, and a lady with a bat to kill Superman. I would do it at least once a month, rotating the cast as needs be.

I mean, I’m speaking hypothetically, but getting hit by a car is no joke, and if, again hypothetically, this asteroid happened to fall in a major metropolitan area, and someone’s house that’s a certain color, what would the radius of the crater be like?

There are LOTS of people who thought the Colbert Report was a real conservative talk show, and most of the people who buy prints of this Obama print from the New Yorker do so unironically.

I LOVE the transforming aspect of Transformers.

Rita and Runt hold up like fucking DIAMONDS.

There’s a weird segment in American Splendor where underground cartoonist Harvey Pekar (played by Paul Giamatti) gets invited on Letterman, and then they play the segment that aired with the actual Pekar, and then Paul Giamatti walks back into the green room. It gets stranger when Giamatti has to reenact the time…

The tassles were 2-D animated though.

I find it a little incredible how given their evergreen popularity, Dahl’s children’s books aren’t all being remade every 10 years.

Mike will be smoking weed and being horny.

I’d say the matrix DID dictate Switch’s gender. That’s what half the tubes in the gooey pod were for. Whatever was in the gooey pod was how you were in the simulation. Only people who have broken out of, and then hacked back into the Matrix have the chance to dictate their own self-image.

Forky was created out of whole cloth from bits of trash. His personality: a bit of a mess.

Superman can carry germs as well as anyone, even if they don’t make him sick. And he’s not going to cut a square out of his cape for a bloody mask that’s probably going to fall off when he’s flying anyway. Clark Kent has a real job. He can afford masks when interacting with the public.

The next one is probably my last Wonder Woman movie, so I have to put everything I want to show there.

There are about half a dozen species that are pretty unmistakable and widespread. Oysters, wood ears, lion’s manes, morels, hen of the woods, chicken of the woods, giant puffballs, etc. Good place to start.

Look at the Spielberg analogues in his other early works, and there’s a clear progression. Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws has no family and is married to his job. In Close Encounters, Dreyfuss leaves his family to pursue an obsessive calling. In ET, though, Elliott stays home, but he’s still closer to his biking pals than…

Honestly: I wish writers would stop making Darth Vader tragic and Shakespearean in his violence. The exploration of that point of view has artistic merit, but these days, more emotional justification of Vader’s decades-long homicidal tantrum seems in poor taste.

What we’re dealing with is a criminal element that stumbled upon about 500 free pallets of seeds.

...and getting away with it. If we could find these people, dip them in boiling tar, then cover them in chicken feathers, perhaps they would stop. This too is an American tradition.

Thank bloody god. The whole Christian mythology has been milked to death. And most of it isn’t even Christian. It’s Canaanite demigods and apocryphal metaphors about the fall of Rome that have been sort of shoe-horned into pop-culture to make the Bible seem more cinematic than it actually is.