What burns my biscuits the most is that they have soup tureens full of dipping sauce, still in the packets. At a buffet! You need two hands to open one of those things, and then where do you put your plate?

You can also use that when the mag puts out their “Opioid Epidemic” issue.

It should be legal to slap anyone over the age of 16 who thinks this is an amazing revelation.

The twist is that Mysterio is actually in a small room in Los Angeles, where he has been patiently waiting for his illusions to render for the past 5 years.

I have an idea for a John Wick-style movie in which the main character goes on a 80+ person killing spree after receiving a poor tip. It’s way better motivation than a dog.

I think it’s really cool how Marvel spent millions of dollars making a fake trailer for a new Spider-Man movie when everyone knows Spider-Man was killed and turned to dust on an alien planet.

Every once in a while, someone will publish a fluff piece about how Congress members from both parties are actually good friends and chummy outside the various chambers and committees.

I would never replace salt in a recipe with MSG. They’re different tastes. Like it says on the shaker, it’s an Accent.

They’re trying to cover for the fact that Bran will be riding into battle by syncing up with the weirwood trees, releasing them from the ground, and riding them like a sinewy mech.

CK said on Marc Maron’s podcast that as a younger man, he would compulsively masturbate and spend himself into massive debt. Apparently, his therapist told him his chronic masturbation and spending were related to anxiety, after which CK quit therapy.

You’d think at least one would be self-aware enough to realize that while he will not ever be President, he can generate quite a lot of publicity by just calling a press conference and saying the current President is a cunt.

Usually, if I’m making whipped cream, it’s as a topping for something else that already covered the whisk attachment in goo. So I whip by hand and only wash everything once.

Give the rangers guns.

Hot take: these are ugly, photoshopped publicity stills. Worse than the Two Towers DVD cover, and Thanos looks like a Macy’s Parade balloon compared to Mickey Rourke.

Clearly, there are no improv classes in the Star Wars galaxy.

The internet happened. Artists who would otherwise have just been making zines can now get way more attention and work than they could just selling stuff at artist alleys. Once indie and international artists started generating huge fanbases stateside, the fascist corporate comic machine came slobbering up for a piece…

Counter-counterpoint: Superhero movies are worse than escapist, because every single one is about someone, who is just better than normal people, who use violence to solve problems only they can solve, problems which do not, and never will, exist in the real world. We’ve had military dictatorships before, we’ve seen…

Yes. Before superheroes, no one did anything exciting in movies.

There ARE too many superhero movies. I like to try and patch what the pop culture trends say about our culture as a whole.

Y’know. For kids!